This part is for the person who's here.

Just being there

• Sit down. Standing over someone makes a room feel like an emergency.
• Sit beside them or at an angle rather than face-on. Less like an interview.
• Lower your voice and slow it down. They'll match you without noticing.
• Silence is fine. You can sit together saying nothing at all.
• Ask before touching, every time. "Would a hand on your back help, or not?"

Listening without interrogating

• "I'm here" and "tell me as much or as little as you want" go a long way.
• Don't chase the why. They may not know, and being asked can feel like a test.
• It's okay to ask directly whether they're thinking of suicide. Asking does not plant the idea; it usually brings relief.
• Don't argue with their reasons, promise it'll get better, or list who'd be devastated. It lands as pressure.
• Don't make it about how frightened you are, even though you are.
• Try not to react with shock to anything they say — they'll stop talking.

Making the room safer, gently

Putting distance between someone and the means they're thinking about is one of the most protective things you can do — crises usually peak and pass in minutes to hours.

• Ask, out loud and calmly: "Is there something here I could hold onto for tonight?"
• Medication, blades, ropes, keys, alcohol — moved to another room, a car, a neighbour, anywhere not here.
• Do it collaboratively if you possibly can. Grabbing things away can feel like being overpowered.
• If they say no, don't wrestle for it. Stay close and keep talking instead.
• Don't leave them alone to "cool off" while things are still sharp.

When this stops being something you can hold

Call emergency services now if any of this is true — this is a medical situation, not a conversation:

• They've taken an overdose or swallowed anything harmful, even if they seem fine.
• Bleeding that won't stop, a deep or gaping wound, or blood that's spurting.
• Trouble breathing, blue or grey lips, or noisy struggling breaths.
• Drowsiness they can't be roused from, confusion, seizure, or loss of consciousness.
• Chest pain, repeated vomiting, or a head injury.
• They have a means in hand and can't step back from it.

Stay with them until help arrives. If they've taken something, keep the packaging to hand. You don't need to be sure it's serious to make the call — that's what the call is for.

And you

This is frightening and exhausting, and doing it well takes more out of you than it looks. Drink water. Let someone else take a turn if there is anyone. You aren't responsible for another person's survival on your own — you're one part of it, tonight.